How We Can Help

Welcome! We are so glad you’re here. This website has been a vision of ours for awhile and we are happy to share it with you. We have been fortunate enough to work with some wonderful families the past 20 years. Our ongoing desire is to continue to help develop and nurture intimate relationships between parents and children. We can’t think of any other job we would rather have. We look forward to being a part of your family’s healing journey.

Decoding Your Child


To be known and understood is to feel safe. For those who are emotionally healthy and have not suffered trauma, the thought processes of a child who has attachment disorder (also known as early relational trauma or complex trauma) can be very confusing. Understanding your child and the avenue his emotions travel is extremely important. If you cannot figure your child out and understand what causes him to think or react the way he does, he will never be able to trust or feel safe.

For the most part, the core feelings of children who have experienced early relational trauma, including abandonment are scared and sad. To adapt and survive, these children learned early to turn those feelings into mad. Because other feelings lie underneath, which the child has not learned to share or recognize, their mad is acted out in inappropriate ways. Learning to get to your child’s core feelings as well as the ability for him to learn to express them, are key to a successful relationship.

Educating You and Your Family


Parenting a child with attachment problems is extremely stressful. These children can triangulate by pitting one parent against the other. They may even act sexual towards a parents due to their difficult past. If these problems are not dealt with they can destroy a marriage. Helping you and your spouse become aware of this child’s motives is vital. For your family to begin to heal, the parents need to present a united front.

Unfortunately, people have no idea how living with a child who has early relational trauma impacts the siblings. Often the biological children have opened their hearts to the idea of having a new sister or brother only to end up feeling like the child is trying to destroy their lives.

To make matters worse, these children can be superficially charming causing outsiders to have a distorted view of the family dynamics. Many times others insist that this child is misunderstood or mistreated, which leaves the family feeling disheartened and frustrated. Families can become defensive, and feel alienated from their friends and extended family.

In-home services are designed to strengthen the relationship between parent and child. This service provides powerful parent coaching strategies with ongoing support. Siblings are taught techniques for coping with the child who has attachment problems. We also can meet with extended family to help them gain an understanding about why this child needs to be parented differently.

Support at School


Addressing concerns at your child’s school can feel completely overwhelming. When a family already has so much difficulty at home, school issues can threaten to push you over the edge. Principals, teachers, and other school staff have been trained to look for signs of abuse and neglect with their students. A child with attachment problems can seek out attention in unhealthy ways, sometimes making false allegations about their parents and even persuading school officials that they have been abused. These children spend much of their time keeping teachers and parents at odds with each other, rather than working together. This is a manipulative tactic, that serves many different purposes for the child. First, he is receiving both negative and positive attention from two parties, which in turn makes him feel powerful. Second, the situation helps to keep the primary care giver (usually Mom) at a distance, because she becomes too angry to want to bond. Third, the time spent dealing with the problem takes all focus off his schoolwork, so he is not held accountable for fulfilling his educational requirements.

Teachers, principals, and school staff need to have a clear understanding of how children with attachment problems operate. Getting a clear picture of what the family is going through will help school employees react supportively during these stressful times. Helping educate those who are involved with your child is a must. Children with these issues need to see parents and teachers working together on their educational need, and united so the child cannot triangulate.

We attend school meetings to enlighten your child’s teachers and school staff, helping everyone involved gain a greater understanding of your child. We provide strategies and techniques that can be implemented in the classroom so that he can feel safe, accepted, and understood. Within this environment, your child will have a greater chance of flourishing and succeeding. He learns to trust a teacher who is not fooled by his manipulative tactics . This will enable teacher and student to have a more successful school year experience.

Therapists


Finding the right help for your attachment-challenged child is essential. Sadly, many families have struggled unsuccessfully for years to find a program or therapy that works for attachment issues. In some cases professionals who are not educated about this disorder can make matters worse for parent and child.

One aspect of our services is that we work in conjunction with your child’s therapist. Our intensive program, which allows us to see your child interact in different environments, can increase the impact of your therapy sessions. The insight gained in these therapy sessions helps your child move more quickly toward healing.

We can consult with your therapist on the phone, attend therapy sessions with you and your child, as well as provide parent coaching and support throughout your healing journey.

For more information or to schedule an initial consultation, please contact us.